Affix Label Here

Conservative vs. liberal.

When I think of those words I initially think of politics but every once in while it brings to mind church matters.  I've visited many churches where this label is affixed. "We are a conservative church" or "We are contemporary or liberal" I find these terms funny when used in church. And sure, when you walk into a church and see women in long, pleated, floral skirts and men in ties you will assume this is a conservative church and if you see people in jeans and casual wear you will assume the otherwise or if you hear hymns you will assume conservative and if you drums you will assume liberal.

So what makes a church conservative and what makes it liberal? The clothes? the Music? I've actually visited a church once that was very conservative by those terms and after many discussions with the people of that church I found that in their personal lives, outside of church services, they exercised their liberties quite extensively. I also visited liberal church who when talking to them personally found they had very in depth bible studies and renounced all forms of Christian freedoms while quoting 1 Corinthians 10:23: "Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive."  It got me to thinking that if we really wanted to label a church conservative or liberal, then perhaps we should dig deeper than an outward appearance or service type.

Fortunately, I'm not into labels and do not plan on labeling anyone or any church in this blog. While thinking these things, my mind starts to wonder to why we need to label anyone at all and I immediately begin to drift to the Worship Wars of the early 90's. Because I was in my early 20's, the worship wars resonated with me especially because I was able to reason things out on my own accord. The worship wars were my first taste of Christian church debate. It was a brutal debate actually. It caused divisions and discord among many churches. People attributed spiritualness and even sin with the style of worship. I remember listening to a pastor as he joined in on the debate and yet clearly announced that neither side was right but that instead obedience was the key to being filled with the Spirit. Obedience? Woah, that was way off topic. Or was it?

Now, as you are reading this you are probably analyzing to see what my point of view on the worship wars is or if I am a conservative or liberal and well, I will tell you now that from the beginning of this blog to the end, I write with a smile on my face - a smirk even. I laugh at the entire discussion and my own stupid need to even write this blog.

But on with the blog! [*smile and *smirk]

Little did I know that the Worship Wars did not begin in the early 90's but in 1st century Palestine. "Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem," said the Samaritan woman at the well to Jesus. In first century, there was discussion on where was the right place to worship. Jesus' answer to the woman at the well and to us today is the same, “Woman,” Jesus replied. I love that by the way. Only certain men can get away with addressing a woman by calling her "woman".  Jesus continues, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem...Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” [John 4:20-24]

Because we are all different people, culturally, gender-wise and age-wise, its no surprise we will have different types of church services. You can call it conservative or liberal, loud or quiet, quaint or energetic, but the preference in style is not what is right or wrong. The only right and wrong are those who do it truthfully and those who untruthfully. Those who do it spiritually or those who merely do it physically.  Physically and spiritually? Do you just go with the motion, attend church services, because that's what you do or do you truly seek to give God reverence. Can you revere God anywhere other than in church services? Of course you can! You can worship spiritually at home, in the car, at church, any where.  There are many who serve God physically, I mean, you can be a great guitarist or singer (physically) but without spiritual surrender, giving homage to God, it is not worship in spirit. You could wear a long pleated skirt during church service and later that night put on a mini-skirt while you visit the local bar. Who are you truthfully? Are you a mini or pleated? Just kidding on that one, mini or pleated shouldn' t define you. The one thing God will reject is an untruthful worshiper - a faker.

God wants worshipers who will worship him in Spirit and in Truth. That is what He seeks and that is what I hope we are or will become.

Confessions of a Christian Pacifist

Edited Version published in the Bible Advocate (www.baonline.org)

Every year, more and more young people from our church sign up for the military. As I watch this unfold I ask myself why this is happening. Has the church been lax about confessing our pacifistic views? For this reason, I felt compelled to make my own confession known. You see, I, myself, am a Christian Pacifist. I have been one since September, 2001 when I studied the church's pacifistic doctrines after 9/11. I was so angry at what had occurred and anyone who knows me knows the temper I struggle with. I joined in the nation's response of outrage and found myself saying, "bomb them," even out loud. That week, at the request of our church president, I prayed and studied God's word so that I would know what the proper response was to these brutal acts, the Godly response. Our church president, asked that we spend the Sabbath morning in bible study over what our response should be. Because I was the youth teacher at the time, before the Sabbath, I attempted to prepare a bible study for them regarding the 9/11 occurrence and our stand as believers. I was sure that as I studied, I would find some indication that it was okay to respond to the attack on America with retaliation and war. After all, we must defend our country.  As I studied and prayed God broke my heart with the Truth, Jesus. You see the red letters of Christ’s words, which define all other scripture was clear and they were in red, highlighted, if as to call me to them. Jesus showed me a new way to respond to violence, oppression, and persecution. "You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matthew 5:43-44.

He showed me His Way and if I was to be a follower, I must deny my way and accept His as my own.  Loving Jesus as much as I did and still do, I chose to obey though it was exceedingly hard. I suppressed my opinionated personality full of rage and retaliation and affirmed the church's doctrinal beliefs on war and retaliation. I believe I even sent an email to the president of the church with my conclusions of study after he sent a request to us on whether we should revisit the issue.

I know there are opinions on both sides of this stand and I, in no way, am trying to cause division or controversy. We are all brothers in Christ and I'm sure that the stand people make contrary to my own is also derived through careful study, meditation and prayer. The purpose of this confession, and that is what this is, my confession, is to bring light to who I am. We must start with confessing with our lips before we can carryout our beliefs with our lives. I have been a Christian Pacifist for 9 years in head theology alone, but not in active terms and not even verbally.

Though I am a Christian Pacifist, it does not mean I do not honor the military soldier. A soldier is willing to die for a cause and that I honor. However, a soldier also has to kill for a cause and as a follower of Christ, I cannot partake in that.

Many Christians who believe in Justified War, (“Just War”), believe Pacifists allow injustices to continue by being passive to the acts of injustice. This is a crucial misconception of what Christian Pacifism is. To define the term “Christian Pacifist,” I must first say that pacifism is not passiveness.  Pacifism requires a response - to pacify.  Passiveness requires no response - to let it pass. A Christian Pacifist does not let things pass but instead enacts the ways of Jesus in order to pacify the violence around us.

Also, I am not a Pacifist absent the Christian.  If it were up to me, my personality and my make-up full of temper that I need to bring to Christ on a daily basis, I would not be a Pacifist. It is only because of Christ that I am. Therefore, I am a Christian Pacifist. I do not believe in violence of any form including violence as retaliation or defense. I do, on the other hand, believe we should not be passive either but active in the ways of Christ.

I find that as I type this description of who I am, Satan reminds me of the various times I wanted to punch someone in the face or even the times I’ve thrown things across the room in a rant. So let me clarify, every day I wake up, I must deny myself, pick up the cross and follow Him. Perhaps my failures in this area of my Christian walk stem from the fact that I haven’t, until now, confessed to being a Christian Pacifist. After all, if you don’t know that I am one then how can you hold me to it? So I remind myself on a daily basis, who I am. I am a Jesus following, wanna be like Him, Christian Pacifist. I choose God not guns because in God there is real power and strength that is eternal and beyond this world scope.

I remember sitting in the office lunchroom with a co-worker. Somehow my Christian pacifistic views came up and she asked me the famous question asked to all pacifists, "What if someone breaks in your house and threatens your children?" Questions such as these are not raised to affirm, deny, or reduce theology. This is a question of methodology. The question itself reminds me of those asked when we confess to being Pro-Life. Being Pro-Life affirms the theology that life begins at conception and the abortion of an unborn child ends human life. Yet someone almost always asks, "What if a woman is raped?"  This question does not combat the theology of when life begins but instead questions the methodology. It asks, “how we are supposed to carry out this theology in midst of this broken world?” Nevertheless, the answer to this question is quite clear. Christ has an answer for the methodology and it is love. Love is the method by which we carry out all of the commands by Christ.  Love is often mistaken for a feeling; however, Jesus defines the greatest love to be an act - the laying down of life for his friends. See John 15:13. John affirms Christ’s definition of love in 1 John 3:16, “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us.” Love is not a self-satisfying act or even a feeling. Love is self-sacrificing act for the benefit of others. Love is our method.

Enacting the ways of Christ will bring about change of our circumstance in this broken world and yet sometimes it will still result in earthly death. Earthly death may still be the result of our Christian pacifistic ways as was the result of many of the early Christians. Their persecution and executions were unjust, yet they, who were taught by Jesus himself or by the apostles, did not fight back and were unanimously against violence even as a defense or retaliation. After all, even Christ himself suffered an earthly death. We must affirm the scriptures in that dying is not the worst thing that can happen to us. In fact, scripture teaches that death is better. I may be so bold as to say that the worst thing that can happen to us is to be outside the will of God, which is our disobedience. Christ was not disobedient to the will of God. He submitted to it, though it was a hard cup to swallow.  In Matthew 26:39, Jesus said, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will but as you will."  And with that visions of the TV show Lost come racing to mind when Jack Shepherd drinks the cup that is given to him.

But back to my confession, in Matthew 26:53, Jesus also said He could have called down twelve legions of angels to defend him from death. A legion was a military term, equaling 6,000 troops. Jesus could have defended himself with an angel military, but He chose to obey the will of God and thereby laid down His life. His life was not taken away from Him, it was freely given by Him. Because of His act, not passiveness, but his act of giving up His life, we have all attained peace with God; peace with God!

 
Jesus’ obedience, though it was hard, suffered Him much, and resulted in his death, which brought about God's kingdom on earth.  You see, though we live in this world, we are not of it.  Read the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5:1-7:27. Jesus IS the new way of life, the new world order and as his followers we are signed up to be citizens of His new nation, God's kingdom on earth. In John 18:36, Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place." We are the people of this nation, the Jesus nation. In 1 Peter 2:9, we read, “But you are a chose race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” This is the kingdom we signed up for and the state we are citizens of. The flag I wave is red for the blood Christ shed on the cross and for the Living Word that He is.

I confess it now, I am a Christian Pacifist.

"Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time: the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence. Man must evolve for all human conflict, a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love." -  Martin Luther King, Jr., Nobel Prize acceptance speech, Stockholm, Sweden, December 11, 1964.

Grace Grumbling

The question of the day is "What is the point in doing good works if even evil people will be saved?" Reminds me of the story Jesus said about a landowner and some hired workers. There was a landowner who hired workers early in the morning to work his vineyard for a denarius. Then he hired other workers in mid morning. Then again at noon he hired more workers, then again in the afternoon and lastly he hired more workrs even at the last hour. Its obvious in the story that the landowner has compassion for the workers because he asks them why are you not working and their answer was no one has hired us. The landowner hired the workers out of compassion for them. When the work day was over he paid him each the same pay, a denarius. The workers who had been there all day grumbled at what they thought was unfair, but the landowner stated that because it was his land and his money, the decision on wages was clearly his to make and in the end he accused them of being envious of his generosity.

This fee arrangement, if viewed literally, would make anyone upset. But when viewed with the understanding that God is the landowner and he is full of compassion, we come to different understanding.

And though our first instinct is to complain of the unfairness of it, the truth is, this is God's creation and eternal existence to offer, not ours. He is bigger than we can even imagine. Why do we limit Him to only that which is fair in our minds. When we think about it, our minds themselves are limited and cannot fully imagine God or understand his existence. I mean, Israelite priests died when they enterred the holy of holies or viewed the contents of the arc of the covenant. Can we fully capture God? I believe the existence of Jesus is our only hope and view of who God is. I want justice for evil doers as well, but wouldn't that mean that I too must pay a just fee for my sins? 

The current question of the day is "do evil doers, who even on their last breath accept Christ, receive the same grace, forgiveness and promise of heaven as he who accepted Christ and lived a full life with him?"  According to Jesus, yes. They both receive the same reward, the same pay. But the moral of the story goes beyond that. I believe the moral of the story is more to do about the grumbling about God's grace and Jesus is quick to say that those grumblers will be last in the kingdom. Even being last has its own meaning. Some say it means they will not receive the same reward as those who are first but the story has already established that they will all receive the same award. I believe the meaning of "last" is actually that they will not fully uncover all God's grace has to offer.

As I write this, I'm also reminded of the Jonah story - not the whole whale swallowing part but the part in the end when Jonah gets mad when God offers grace to the Ninevites (the evil doers of his day).

But why do we get mad? I believe we get mad because we think higher of ourselves than we should.

Our first responsibility is to recognize that God is bigger. His justice and grace are bigger than our own theology of what is fair and what is good. One of my practices when fighting my pride, is to think of someone better than me. For example, when I start to think highly of myself and the good things I have done in life, I quickly remind myself that I am no Mother Theresa. I review her life in my head and think about her sacrifices and immediately conclude that I am not good compared to her measure goodness. How much faster will we get back to reality if we compare ourselves to God's goodness?

Lets not limit God's mercy to others, less we limit our own. He chooses grace for us and the workers next to us regardless of their time and effort spent in work. Let's not grumble at God's grace to others.

(a take on Matthew 20:1-16)

Christian Anarchy

This blog may be controversial. I think the title alone makes it so. Therefore, let me begin by defining the word anachy. Webster's dictionary describes "anarchy" as 1a) absence of government b) a state of lawlessness or political disorder due to the absence of governmental authority c) a utopian society of individuals who enjoy complete freedom without government 2a) absence or denial of any authority or established order b) absence of order.

Why on earth would I write about this? I have no clue. I just know that is where my heart it at this moment. I find it so disheartening to see Christian believers being so involved in the goverment politics of our day. When its time to vote, there is so much discussion about government politics and often the discussion is far away from what Christ even taught. Why are we so easily strayed away from the teachings of Christ to follow the teachings of our government? Will no one stand up and say, "no, this is not what Jesus taught?"

For me, I guess it all began on the baseball field when I was a child. I saw my cousins who are Hispanic, being bullied by a couple of drunk white people because they did not stand up for the star spangled banner. The reason they did not stand up was because they were wrestling with their twin toddlers. The white couple told my cousins that they are not Americans. My cousins handled the situation well and even defended their American citizenship by explaining that their uncle died in Vietnam. This incident made American pride a forefront issue for me. To not take pride in America was looked on as a bad thing by others. Since this incident, which actually scared me quite a bit, I became very vocal about my American pride.  I raised the flag, I sang the anthem, I wore the flag t-shirts, I made my children stand and sing the anthem. This pride in America only increased as I learned American history in jr. high and high school. History was by far my best subject in school and my love for the United States drew my attention to early American History. I could not get enough of the stories of the forefathers.  Soon after high school, I discovered the History channel. That just took me over the top.

In my early twentites I found myself to be quite the debater. I debated about everything but my best subject was American government - politics. I considered myself a Republican. I even had a republican elephant beanie baby on my work computer in anticipation for someone to question me so that I may begin my political debate which I believed was a form of witnessing to them. I was enlightening them about the way - the Republican way.  When Bill Clinton was running against George H. Bush, I even passed out fliers to tell of the evils of the Democratic party.

In my late twenties, I had a new revelation from God which was actually a simple message yet a very hard task to live up to and in all honesty, I am still working on it. God simply asked me to love Him and serve Him only. Little by little, God spoke to me about the things to which He felt second in my life. Those things revealed thus far have been food, money or materialism, television and The United States of America (not in that order). I'm sure more revelations will be forthcoming because God is good. I've blogged about materialism often and have verbally talked about my food obession to some, but America? an idol? How can that be? After all, Romans 13 tells us we are to submit to our authorities right? How can loving America be idol worshiping? Its simple really. The love for my government had me arguing politics that looked nothing like the politics of Jesus (sermon on the mount). Could I be loving and worshiping my earthly government above my God's government of which I am pledged to?

As I reflected on my actions, my pride and love for America, I began to realize that the answer was most definitely yes. I realized my love for my government's politics was starting to supercede my love for Jesus politics (sermon on the mount). I'm not sure if I would label myself a Christian Anarchist.  But I am sure that today, my only allegience is to Jesus Christ and his flag over me is love!

I'm Still Not What I Want To Be

So I'm 38 years old today and I'm still not what I want to be in life. Don't worry this is not going to be one of those boohoo feel sorry for me blogs talking about the "things" I have not accumilated in my life yet. This is also not about my apparent low self-esteem, because everyone who knows me, knows that is a false diagnosis of my condition. I don't suffer from low self-esteem.

No, my longing is for something else, something deeper.

You see, I wanted to share my thoughts which consumed me last night to see if maybe they are yours as well. I went to bed contemplating who I am and who I want to be and cried at the reality that the two are vastly different. My husband, Scott, tried to tell me what a great person I am and how I should be content with what I've done in life and though I wanted to agree with him, I couldn't.  I'm not there yet. I'm not even close.

                                                              

I used to tell the story of the night I went crazy. It was about 15 years ago on a Friday night when I ordered pizza to be delivered to our home. It was really late and the pizza still hadn't arrived. I was super hungry and well you don't mess with a Banda and their food. After waiting almost 2 hours, I called the pizza place and the guy, who I guess was about 17 years old, tells me that they cancelled my order because they could not deliver to my area of town anymore. I was so mad! I let him have it and called him all sorts of names. I threatened him and eventually hung up on him while he was speaking to me and trying to explain things to me. Even after I hung up on him, I was upset and continued to be in a bad mood for the rest of the night. The next morning, I got up and started to get ready for church and something inside of me, who I know now was God, reminded me of every word I said to that poor teenage pizza guy. I started to feel ashamed of my words, as I should have because I was guilty of the greatest sin, not loving my neighbor. It only took me 12 hours to react with love, but I was thankful to God for reminding me that I was called to be a better person.

I look at myself today and can't imagine yelling at a pizza guy for canceling my order. That is just so off the wall. I can't believe that's who I was. I don't recognize that person anymore.  I've changed. I'm better. Now when faced with opposition, it only takes me 5 hours to react with love as opposed to 12, but 5 hours is still too long. I want to be even better than that. I want to react with love to opposition immediately, not 12 hours later and not even 5 hours later. 

I'm still not where I want to be. I want to be a better person and so I continue on my journey.  Hope you will too.

A Big Waste of Time

So I heard on the news the other day that social media networks such as Facebook were voted the biggest waste of time. Though I believe the majority of people would agree with this, I, on the otherhand, don't. My first inclination is to talk about the wonderful social aspects of Facebook, because I've always been a social person. I love hanging out with people and talking. I probably talk too much, except at work. For some reason at work, I tend to wear a different personality, but this is not about that.

I guess what I wanted to focus on in this quick blog is the constant blame we make on things for that which we fail at. In this instance, its Facebook.  I'm sure there is a blog out there that tells about all the evils of Facebook. The point of this blog is not to defend Facebook, but to put the blame where it really needs to go, our discipline of time.

It reminds of the debate about McDonald's and their menu of fatty foods. The statement was made that eating at McDonalds will make you gain weight. This was made famous by the movie Super Size Me, a documentary about eating at McDonald's for one month by Morgan Spurlock. After eating at McDonalds for one month, Spurlock gained 25 lbs and 7% body fat.  However, contrary to Mr. Spurlock, a woman named Merab Morgan ate only at McDonalds for 9 months and lost 33 lbs by eating only 1400 calories a day. The point is that McDonald's doesnt make you fat, your choices make you fat. I am not advocating McDonalds and do feel McDonalds is not the best place to eat, but where should the blame really be, McDonalds or our discipline of choice?

So, if you are not disciplined with eating right, don't go to McDonald's because you will gain weight, but the important thing is that discipline is the key. The truth is, an excess of anything good can turn terribly bad and the discipline of limiting the excess is what we lack.

The same reasoning applies to social media networks. The creation of these networks have helped families divided by cities and even countries to reconnect.  They are good when used for good and they are good when prioritized appropriately. Its not a waste of time to talk to friends or to look at pictures of your grandbaby who lives far away. It is not a waste of time to reconnect with the friend you've lost touch with years ago and share an encouraging word. However, if not disciplined with your use of social media networks, it can be hurtful. Spending more time on Facebook than you do with your spouse or playing games on Facebook instead of washing the clothes your kids need for school is definitely a big waste of time.

The key to all things good is discipline.

By the way, number three on the survey of wasted time activities was our jobs. Hmm? Now that's one I can agree with :)

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge but fools despise wisdom and discipline." Proverbs 1:7

Not So Smart

I've always wanted to be smart. Especially when I was in grade school. I remember wishing I was smart.  Seeing as how I longed to be smart, well, that just tells you what I thought I was...not so smart.  I truly remember the days when I was a child wishing I could be that kid that knew all the answers.  I wanted to be the one that would never be afraid of quizes or homework. I just wanted to be smart. 

I find that strange now because I don't remember ever putting any effort in making this come true for me. I guess I didn't realize it took any effort. I thought it came naturally. You were either smart or you weren't. As a matter of fact, I would do my homework while watching TV and that's if I did it at all.  I remember one week of school, I did not turn in any homework at all and I also failed to complete a lot of the daily work during class that week. I remember being shocked that I didn't get in trouble by my parents or my teachers. This actually paints a big picture of me if you read a little deeper. I'm that kid that took short cuts, feared for the worst but always seemed to get by. Gosh, that's terrible. I didn't realize until recently that being smart was not something you were or weren't but it was actually a result of something else - a result of being disciplined in study. You couldn't just wake up one morning and say, "I'm going to be smart today."

This takes me back to one of the lessons I love to teach and re-teach young people. Its called GIGO. GIGO is a computer term meaning "Garbage In Garbage Out."  The term refers to entering the wrong information in the computer and expecting the right information to come out of the computer. Somehow we think our computers can do the thinking for us and we should get the right information from it at all times. GIGO sets the record straight in that you will not get the right information out of the computer if you didn't put the right information in. Garbage in, garbage out.  I often tell youth that this goes along in our computer brains and lives as well. If we continue to put garbage in our minds (things we see, listen to and inact that are immoral), why are we so shocked when garbage comes out of our lives (like depression, anger, etc)? Wishing that the garbage doesn't come out of our lives is, well, excactly that, wishful thinking.  For garbage not to come out of our lives we need to stop putting the garbage in.

I also find it strange that when preachers and teachers talk about the fruit of the spirit found in Galations 5:22-23, which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentlness, faithfullness and self-control, they often teach it as though its something we should be doing. When in fact, the word fruit in this sense actually refers to result - the result of the spirit.  These 9 acts are not things that we should concentrate on doing but things that should automatically come out of our lives when we are filled with the Spirit of God. They are the results of being spirit-filled.

Just like when I "wished" I was smart, the fruit of the spirit character traits are not something that you can just wish for. You can't just decide that tomorrow you will be patient or kind.  I mean, will you really be patient or kind? Or will you try and fail at mid-day?

This fruit of the spirit are results of having the spirit of God in us. So instead of waking up and saying, "I will act with love today", wake up and ask for God's holy spirit in me so from that I will be loving today without fail.

These 9 character traits mentioned in Galations (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control) can not be accomplished absent God.  They are the results of God.

Take God in first, all that He is, merciful, forgiving, kind, loving, righteous, and everything else. Let Him be the one in you as you result in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control.  After all, that is smart thing to do.

"Anxiety in the heart of a man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad." (Pr. 12:25)