One of the struggles I have in my life is being content with what I have. Some might think I'm talking about money but believe it or not, it goes beyond money. Don't get me wrong, a big part of my struggle is wanting for more material things but it goes beyond that. Oh sure I want the new Expedition XL with leather interior and wood grain accents and I want that 2 story house with granite countertops in the kitchen and a large swimming pool in the back yard. I want the nice clothing my co-worker wears but its more than material things. I hate to say that sometimes I even want for people, sounds weird I know, but its things like wanting a typical daughter and not a daughter with a disability. Sometimes, I want a different husband, one that attends to my needs in a fashion that I want and not the ways he chooses. Sometimes, I want a different job; one where I feel like I am giving back to society, like a teacher or something like that. Sometimes, I even want a different church; one that inspires people to do more. I even want more friends; some who think I'm brilliant. Hahaha, that's a good one. It really made me laugh. Hahahaha.
All these wants sound good and fancy in my head but when I write them down and read them aloud, they sound so ridiculous and shallow. I'm reminded of a statistic I once heard, in that America controls nearly 20% of the world's wealth and yet the number of Americans taking anti-depressents in the last decade has trippled. We have so much and yet we are so depressed. Is it because we want more?
As I think about these things, I reflect on Adam and Eve in the garden. God gave them EVERYTHING but restricted them from only one thing and yet that is the thing they concentrated on. They did not concentrate on EVERYTHING they had, they focused on the one thing they didn't have. They were not content; they wanted more. That want, lead them to go against God's instruction and they took for themselves more than the portion God alloted them. The result of this, changed the entire course of humankind. It also lead to their own misery and separation from God.
When we are not content and want for more, we have this tunnel like vision. We can only think about the one thing we don't have and fail to see the things we do have. We think the grass is greener on the other side, but God, who sees everything, knows that the grass is NOT greener and in fact what we do have is exactly what we need. God is all powerful, ever present, and all knowing. He does not have tunnel vision. He sees everything.
When we are content with the portion God gives us it is as if we are saying, "God, I trust you". I wish Adam and Eve were content with the garden they were given and did not want for what they shouldn't have had. But even more, I wish I could be content. As I write this, I realize wishing is a ridiculous notion. Don't wish, do. Do I not trust God? I must realize that wanting more may not benefit me. Could me wanting more actually lead to misery? God knows and sees what I need. I must submit to him.
So, here I go, I submit to God's alloted portion in my life, trusting that he sees more than me. He knows what's best for me.
Could contentment be the route to happiness?
The truth I should be focused on is that God has alloted me a wonderful husband who cares for me and my children even above his own needs. He has alloted me a beautiful, fun-filled daughter who brings joy to our family regardless of the things she is not. He has alloted me a one story house big enough to welcome friends and family for dinners, meetings and overnight stays and finally, God has alloted me membership to a body of believers, my church, that puts truth above popularity.
I'm content.
Perhaps that which we have is actually the best thing for us after all, especially because what we have is GOD.
No comments:
Post a Comment